How midwife Niki Robins supports families through bereavement
Niki Robins is a specialist bereavement midwife; she supports families as they come to terms with the loss of a child, helping them to grieve and to make memories. Here, she gives an insight into this vital and sensitive service.
What inspired you to become a specialist bereavement midwife?
I was drawn to midwifery as a student because I believe these families deserve the utmost care as they navigate welcoming new life into the world. In terms of my bereavement role, before I was a midwife, I worked in the ambulance service and encountered death on a regular basis. I felt like I had the personality to do this specialist role and I have been able to improve the service from within and educate midwives on the sensitivities of caring for birthing people and families who have experienced a bereavement.
I did my midwifery training at Imperial College Healthcare and have worked here ever since. I love the diversity of the Trust and how we continually try to improve the care we provide to patients.
What do you love most about your role?
Looking after any birthing person in pregnancy is a privilege but to look after a bereaved family, to me, is the pinnacle of midwifery. We support these patients and their families to walk out of our hospitals without a baby. To be part of this difficult journey and to witness such strength and tenacity is humbling.
I also love that I can lead on change to improve the service for patients. It is the national standard to have separate suites – which are removed from labour wards – for patients experiencing bereavement. At St Mary’s Hospital we have two protected rooms, and we are in the process of getting doors put on two rooms at Queen Charlotte’s & Chelsea Hospital so that we meet this standard. These suites will be called the Daisy suite so that if we need to transfer patients between sites, all staff are aware of these dedicated bereavement areas and patients will not need to answer any questions. We are currently getting the rooms decorated to make them less clinical, with features such as diffusers, double beds, and sleeping chairs for support networks.
We welcome ideas from arty people on how we could decorate these suites further to make them warm and comforting. Get in touch via: imperial.bereavementmidwives@nhs.net.
Niki Robins
"Looking after any birthing person in pregnancy is a privilege but to look after a bereaved family, to me, is the pinnacle of midwifery."
What kind of support do you provide?
Generally, we look after birthing people from 20 weeks onwards on the maternity unit; we see a variety of bereavements from miscarriage, stillbirth, and medical terminations for severe foetal anomalies.
We provide patients with time to grieve and to make memories with their baby. We meet with bereaved families as soon as possible, ideally before they deliver their baby. We follow up with them when they go home initially, but then we let families contact us if they want to so that we can respect their healing process, and we hand primary care back over to their local GP. We also refer most families to Petals counselling, a bereavement charity which the Trust has invested in. Families are offered six counselling sessions either one-to-one or as a couple and they can opt out at any time. We also refer patients to the Maternity Trauma Loss Care, another bereavement charity in northwest London, and charities that tailor support to different faiths.
4Louis are the main providers of memory boxes for our patients; they contain items to support and inspire bereaved families to capture memories with their baby, including teddy bears, candles, memory books, and footprint and handprint kits. They also provide Ibraheem's Gift for Muslim families which contain items such as shrouds, prayer books, holy water and beads.
We have books of various faiths for siblings to help parents talk to their other children about what has happened, and the charity Aching Arms provide teddy bears for grieving parents, and specific ‘Dandelion bears’ for siblings experiencing bereavement. We also have volunteers who knit sleeping bags for babies, and we have joined up with a lady who is going to make satin sleeping bags so that babies can be presented to their families in a kind and dignified way. Lastly, Remember my Baby offers our parents baby remembrance photography for free, and we are involved with the stillbirth charity Sands.
As a service, we mark Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15 October); hold a memorial service and attend a hospital funeral every month to support parents and the vicar. If you would like to support our bereavement service, you can do so via Imperial Health Charity – select 'Other' when asked 'Where would you like your donation to go?' and then enter 'Teardrop Fund – code 7012'.
Niki Robins
"I love the diversity of the Trust and how we continually try to improve the care we provide to patients."
How do you work alongside other colleagues at the Trust?
I am part of a multidisciplinary team. We come together – obstetricians, neonatologists, midwives, the safety team – and look at every aspect of a woman’s care through our maternity pathway to identify areas where we can learn and improve the service for patients. From a wellbeing perspective, we also support one another due to the difficult and sensitive nature of our roles.
Why would you encourage other people to pursue a similar career?
The term midwifery means ‘with woman’ and to be by a woman’s side – and her family’s side – during such a difficult time gives you a real sense of purpose knowing that you can provide specialist support and care to make things a little easier. The biggest fear factor is knowing what to say but the key is to acknowledge the bereavement right away. Once you have done that, you can build such an incredible relationship with families.
